In our practice, we repeatedly see divorcing parents take extremely destructive, hurtful and even downright stupid actions in custody/visitation disputes.
These parents, who often are hell bent on "getting even" with their spouse, sometimes do and say the most outrageous things in the name of revenge, and confuse and emotionally damage their children in the process.
Divorce is certainly hard enough on adults. For children, it can be devastating. Their worlds are turned upside down by the breakdown of their household. This upheaval can be made many times worse by the venomous animosity and destructive actions they sometimes witness by their parents.
We frequently consult with adults who vividly remember how a divorcing parent behaved during a divorce case when that adult was a child.
Some of these adults have been psychologically traumatized for a lifetime by what they saw or heard. They often tell us that they wish their parents had just "settled it" like adults, and lament how their parents acted like spoiled children themselves, while ignoring the fact that everything said and done during this difficult time had a magnified impact on them as youngsters.
In the spirit of reminding those involved in divorce disputes involving children that it is their responsbility to act like mature, responsible adults to protect the most vulnerable parties to a divorce litigation ---- their precious children -----, we reprint here a copy of the "Children's Bill of Rights", which is not a legal doctrine or enforceable set of rules, but a common sense reminder of what a parent should be doing vis-a-vis a child when custody & visitation disputes arise.
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Children's Bill of Rights
We the children of the divorcing parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish these Bill Of Rights for all children.
The right not to be asked to "choose sides" or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents.
The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip.
The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents.
The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other.
The right not to be a messenger.
The right to express my feelings.
The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes.
The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty.
The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other.
The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce.
The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times.
The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent's well being.
The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed.
The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure.
The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events.
The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.
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If you are fighting with your spouse about your children, please reread this, and then do it again.
These common sense reminders are too often cast aside during the emotional turmoil involved in divorce cases.
You are the adult. Your children did not ask for a divorce from either parent. Your children will remember and be forever impacted by how you conduct yourself. Keep this in mind when you are dealing with your spouse on child related issues.
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Robert G. McDermott
McDermott Law Offices
110 Marcus Boulevard, Suite 300
Hauppauge, New York 11788
Tel. 631-414-0094
Fax 631-414-0097
E-mail: bob@mcdermottlaw.com
Internet: www.mcdermottlaw.com
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
NEW YORK's HOME EQUITY THEFT PREVENTION ACT - FEB 1, 2007
New York has enacted The Home Equity Theft Prevention Act effective February 1, 2007. The Act creates two new statutorty provisions: Real Property Actions & Proceedings Law Secs. 265-a and 1303, and amends Section 595-a of the Banking Law.
The new law requires require written disclosure to homeowners regarding the terms of the title transfer and provide a right to cancel the deal for five days after signing the contract. It would prohibit making false statements with intent to defraud the homeowner and would establish civil and criminal penalties for violating the law.
The Act protects a homeowner who has conveyed a deed to a predator (or anyone later identified to be engaged in the practice of deed stealing or equity theft). The Act requires foreclosing lenders to issue certain notices warning about scams.
Failure on the part of foreclosing lenders to properly advise distressed homeowners could result in the nullification of the foreclosure action. Any transfer of title in material violation of the Act is voidable, and can be rescinded by the Seller within two years of recording the deed.
The practical effect of how the implementation of this law will impact real estate brokers, lenders, mortgage brokers, purchasers of distressed properties and attorneys is unclear at this point.
However, the text of the Act will require major restructuring of legal language in certain real estate contracts and foreclosure action notices. The Act also imposes a requirement that certain contracts of sale be produced in both English and Spanish if Spanish is the primary language of the equity seller. On the bi-lingual contracts, an initial question is whose responsibility is it to determine if the equity seller uses Spanish as his or her primary language ?
Will it be necessary to produce copies in both languages to protect everyone else involved in the transaction ---- better safe than sorry ? Who is responsible to pay for the transalation of the contracts into Spanish ? The Act raises many questions that need to be resolved.
As our office learns more about the Act and its implications, we will provide additional updates.
The new law requires require written disclosure to homeowners regarding the terms of the title transfer and provide a right to cancel the deal for five days after signing the contract. It would prohibit making false statements with intent to defraud the homeowner and would establish civil and criminal penalties for violating the law.
The Act protects a homeowner who has conveyed a deed to a predator (or anyone later identified to be engaged in the practice of deed stealing or equity theft). The Act requires foreclosing lenders to issue certain notices warning about scams.
Failure on the part of foreclosing lenders to properly advise distressed homeowners could result in the nullification of the foreclosure action. Any transfer of title in material violation of the Act is voidable, and can be rescinded by the Seller within two years of recording the deed.
The practical effect of how the implementation of this law will impact real estate brokers, lenders, mortgage brokers, purchasers of distressed properties and attorneys is unclear at this point.
However, the text of the Act will require major restructuring of legal language in certain real estate contracts and foreclosure action notices. The Act also imposes a requirement that certain contracts of sale be produced in both English and Spanish if Spanish is the primary language of the equity seller. On the bi-lingual contracts, an initial question is whose responsibility is it to determine if the equity seller uses Spanish as his or her primary language ?
Will it be necessary to produce copies in both languages to protect everyone else involved in the transaction ---- better safe than sorry ? Who is responsible to pay for the transalation of the contracts into Spanish ? The Act raises many questions that need to be resolved.
As our office learns more about the Act and its implications, we will provide additional updates.
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